Man confirms inactive lifestyle with fitness bracelet

And a new self-help / diet fad is born. Confessions of a self help writer “people will buy thousands of dollars worth of diet books before once considering changing their diets” “a new miracle revolution in lifestyles!”


Thirty-nine year old, Donald Johnson, recently purchased an electronic fitness bracelet to track his daily fitness activities, such as steps taken and calories burned.

After just two days of wearing the bracelet Mr. Johnson’s suspicions of leading a completely inactive lifestyle were confirmed. He told sources, “Yeah I always thought I was lazy, but I never knew how lazy. It turns out that I’m pretty lazy.” He further stated, “So far for the past three days this thing says I’ve taken 18 steps and burned about 9 calories. At first I was like oh man 18 steps, that’s a lot considering that about 10 of them were to get the bracelet off my desk and put it on. And 9 calories, I think that’s a lot. I don’t really know though because fast-food wrappers don’t tell you how many calories are in their stuff. So 9 calories could be like a few cheeseburgers…

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